Future Fast Approaching

When I have a lot going on in my life I tend to get very panicked and my brain keeps whirring, unable to process anything fully. This time of year is always incredibly difficult what with it being the lead up to Prelims (Scottish mock exams), Christmas, and this year there is the added pressure of UCAS applications to add to the mix. 

To put it simply, its terrifying. From this point in the school year onward, everything goes very very quickly. Before I know it exam leave will be upon us once again, and this year that means my high school years have come to a close. In preparation for this we are all going through the stress that is UCAS applications in the hopes of getting accepted into university next year. And let me just say, you think people are lying when they say personal statements are soul destroying? You think that they're exaggerating? Well you're wrong. It is the hardest thing I have ever had to do.

Knowing that the entire future of your education comes down to less than 4,000 characters in which you have to demonstrate your aptitude for the course, understanding of the material, relevant experience, hobbies, skills, and all the while remain mature and professional while showing your personality is the most frightening thing I have ever experienced. It is the most important piece of writing that I will ever complete and the pressure of getting it 'just right' is unbearable.

I'm one of the lucky ones however. I know what I want to do as a future career, and exactly what degree I need to get there. I've got it easy. Many people have no idea what they want to do with their life at this stage, and that's to be expected. I mean come on, we're only 17. Realistically how many 17 year-old kids know what they want to do as a career in 10, 20 or 30 years time? I certainly don't, just because I want to do something now, it doesn't mean that passion will continue.

The whole process leads to a lot of self-questioning and doubt. Am I sure that's the course I want to do? Is that the University for me? Do I want to spend the next 4 years of my life in that city? Am I ideally suited to that course? Can I cope with the workload? Am I willing to rack up thousands of pounds worth of student debt in return for a piece of paper and a few letters after my name at the risk of later deciding against that career choice? I guess part of the fun is jumping in head-first just hoping for the best.